


Marked by Lies

by Crypticbeliever123



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-03-01 05:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13288434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crypticbeliever123/pseuds/Crypticbeliever123
Summary: In a world where every lie a person tells their soulmate appears on their skin Leonard and Sara come to find out exactly what fate has in store for them.





	1. Finding the One

Leonard was 43 when a man from the future pitched to him a chance for adventure like he had never had before. Most people his age would’ve told Rip to fuck off and muttered something about being too old for this crap. But not him. Leonard Snart was too addicted to the thrill this kind of life gave him and wouldn’t pass it up for anything, even if it put him at risk of being called a _hero_. Leonard expected many things on this mission what he didn’t expect was this…

 

“If we have the power to change the world, don’t you think we have the power to change our own fate?” the blonde assassin, Sara asked of the room in some sort of pep talk.

 

In an instant he knew; the tingling sensation that crept up on his skin as the words etched into his flesh told him as much. Sara Lance was his soulmate. He had always heard that any lie a soulmate spoke to one another, even if it was just in general to an entire room, would be marked on them forever. But after nearly four and a half decades with not a single word on his scarred flesh he had given up hope that he ever even had a soulmate. He knew it was cheesy when he followed up Sara’s words with “ _for better or for worse_ ” but he couldn’t help it when they slipped past his lips. It was like some crazy subconscious part of his brain already wanted to marry her just out of the sheer joy of having found his soulmate.

 

It took a minute before it dawned on him… the words that Sara said about changing their fates, it had all been a lie. She didn’t believe a single word that she had said to them. Why give a pep talk for something you didn’t believe in? Guess she must have the same thrill addiction he did to want to stick around. He found himself following Sara to her room after their first mission in 1975 had ended.

 

“Come to stare at my ass some more?” Sara asked him as she noticed him enter her room.

“No, actually I was just wondering if you played Gin, maybe we could talk, get to know each other a little,” Leonard replied honestly with a deck of cards in hand; deciding then and there that he would never lie to her, never let a single lie mar her porcelain skin.

“Yeah I play. Take a seat,” she replied, gesturing to the bed.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he smirked as he strolled over to sit across from her on the bed.

“So, how did you become an assassin? Bet that’s an interesting story,” he asked as they began their game.

“Not really,” she said with her words instantly being mirrored on his right bicep.

“Fine, don’t tell me. Mind if I ask about the whole dead for over a year thing then?” Leonard drawled.

“A friend of mine was drugged by her evil father to shoot me with arrows so that he could scheme against the head of the League of Assassins, Ra’s al Ghul. There. Happy?” she replied with an air of annoyance.

“Testy. Then again I suppose I would be too if a stranger asked me about something as personal as dying.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to snap.”

“It’s alright. I should have known better than to ask a question like that. Is there anything you’d like to talk about? Any questions you have for me?”

“Sure, have you always wanted to be a thief?” she smirked.

“Ooh, trying to get me back for the deeply personal questions. Okay then if you must know I never really wanted to be much of anything. When I was really young I was too focused on the present to think about what I wanted to be when I grew up and by the time those thoughts popped into my head the only thing I wanted to be when I was older _was_ older,” he replied earning an eyebrow raise from Sara.

“My dad wasn’t exactly father of the year. Anyway, as time went on I learned to stop wanting things, that only ‘greedy’ and ‘spoiled’ kids wanted things like toys or clothes or food. Didn’t much care what I grew up to be so long as I managed to live long enough to get the hell out of there with my sister Lisa in tow. So anything else you want to know about me?”

“I’m sorry… about your childhood. That- that must’ve been so horrible for you.”

 

Leonard took a deep breath. He really didn’t like talking about his childhood with anyone, but he wasn’t about to lie to his soulmate by brushing off what happened to him.

 

“It was but you know, I survived it, and besides dear old dad is dead now so,” Leonard shrugged.

 

Sara reached out to grab his hand and for some odd reason Leonard felt as though his heart had just stopped along with his breathing.

 

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” Sara replied quietly.

 

Leonard couldn’t do anything at that moment but stare at their linked hands. How could simply knowing she was his soulmate have such a strong effect on him? He had no words for the feelings swirling around in his chest. It was like fear and joy and excitement and relaxation all rolled into one big ball of confusing. Was this what it was like to have a soulmate? Did everyone experience this? Was she experiencing this? God, why wasn’t she talking?

 

“How did he die, your father?” she asked after a minute.

“I killed him. Shot him through the heart with my gun. He had put a bomb in my baby sister’s neck and forced me to help him steal some jewels. Flash got involved and saved her. After I got the good news that she was safe I shot him. He looked so surprised that I would do that to him. Even more so when I told him that I hated him. Like he couldn’t believe that after all the crap he put me through as a kid that I would hate him for all of it, all the pain, all the scars, all the things he used to say. ‘Boys don’t cry’. ‘Suck it up and be a man’. ‘Pull the trigger, you weak piece of shit!’,” Leonard replied getting agitated and raising his voice as he finished.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to get… angsty,” he added.

“It’s okay, Snart.”

“Len.”

“What?”

“My name is Leonard, but I’d prefer it if you called me Len.”

“Sure thing Len,” she smiled at him, making his heart flutter.

“So, care to finish the game? I think I’m on the verge of beating you,” she added as she released his hand.

“Bring it on Sara. Bring it on,” he replied with a smirk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below! <3


	2. These are a Few of My Favorite Things

_He’s not just asking me to kill, he’s asking me to save the future_. He knew the instant those words marked his skin that Sara didn’t really want to kill Stein. He also figured that she only lied as she did because she didn’t want to accept that their captain saw her as nothing more than a tool to kill. The fact that she was probably doubting herself like that left an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. When the time came for Sara to take the shot he said what he hoped would be enough to remind her of who she really was; a good person, not a killer.

 

He guessed it must’ve worked because she didn’t pull the trigger, didn’t kill their teammate. He found himself splitting some Russian booze with her later on and asked if she wanted to play some more cards; the game quickly becoming a favorite pastime. They found a nice comfy spot in the hall and set down to play, still sharing the booze from earlier after Mick had headed off to bed.

 

“How are you doing?” he asked her halfway through their game.

“Fine. I mean I didn’t kill Stein, so I’d say I’m doing pretty good,” she replied, the word _fine_ making its place on Snart’s forearm.

“You’re lying,” he smirked.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are,” he replied as more words marked his skin.

“Whatever, believe what you like Snart, just quit distracting me. I know you’re cheating.”

“Am not,” he replied honestly; as if he would ever cheat against his own soulmate.

“Are too.”

“Maybe you’re the one who’s cheating,” Leonard suggested with a tilt of the head.

“Am not,” she lied, leaving a mark on Leonard’s skin in its wake.

 

He would definitely be holding that over her head, especially if she lost this round. Which she just did.

 

“Well look at that. I won,” he smirked.

“Wha- You cheater!” Sara replied, throwing her cards at him.

“I told you, I’m not cheating.”

“Uh-huh sure you’re not.”

“Whatever,” Leonard replied with an eyeroll as he started a new game.

“So tell me something about yourself. Something you haven’t told me before,” he added.

“Like?”

“Oh I don’t know, favorite color maybe. Favorite type of music, favorite food, favorite anything really,” Leonard drawled.

“Hm, favorite color is blue, favorite type of music… well it used to be heavy metal but after all the crap I’ve been through I kind of like smooth jazz better; just more relaxing and less likely to get the bloodlust worked up. Favorite food would have to be pasta, just any kind of pasta. What about you?”

“Color, blue. Music, jazz regular or smooth depending on my mood. Favorite food would have to be shrimp scampi pasta. Before you ask no I am not making this up. Now as for other favorites, my favorite animal is the snow leopard. No, not because of my Cold persona I’ve just always had a fondness for big cats, white animals, and animals with special markings hence the snow leopard. My favorite season is winter. Again, not kidding. I just like having an excuse to cuddle up under a pile of blankets and sip hot cocoa. Plus it makes wearing a parka all the time not look so out of place,” he smirked.

“Uh let’s see what else? Oh uh my favorite kind of take-out is Chinese; love egg rolls. Favorite book series is the Chronicles of Narnia, can’t pick which I like better. Uh… yeah I can’t think of much else to list as favorites. So what about you anything you care to share?”

“Well my favorite animal is the Siberian tiger. Favorite season is also winter, mostly because of the cocoa with mini marshmallows. Though it might be because I’m biased since it falls on my birthday.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“December 25th,” Sara replied without looking up from her cards; quite the opposite of Leonard who was having a hard time trying not to look at Sara.

 

Leonard blinked in surprise, definitely not expecting her birthday to fall on a holiday like that.

 

“Christmas? Seriously?”

“Yep. That’s why I always have to celebrate my birthday the day after, otherwise none of my friends could celebrate with me. Now back to favorite things. You and I actually have the same favorite takeout food. But as for favorite book series, I’d have to go with The Mortal Instruments. Would’ve said Harry Potter but TMI has LGBT characters, so I found myself relating to it more. When I finally got back to Star City after the League I looked up the sequels that had come out since the shipwreck. Fell in love with the series even more. Though I will admit, Narnia’s not so bad.”

“Good to know. I’ve actually read The Mortal Instruments myself once. I’d say my favorite character of those was Alec. Kind of reminded me of myself; sarcastic, protective of his siblings. What about you? Who was your favorite character?”

“Mine was Magnus Bane. Partly because he’s bi like me but also because he reminded me a lot of the person I used to be when the books came out, you know the type that likes to party all the time and a total flirt when it comes to someone he likes.”

“Is that what you’re like, I couldn’t tell seeing as how I’ve never seen you flirt,” Leonard smirked.

“Well that’s because you haven’t seen me around someone I like,” she replied honestly.

 

Yeah, that definitely hurt. He was kind of hoping that he was warming up to her. Why would he not hope for that? She was his soulmate after all. They were supposed to be close, at least if the universe was to be believed. Then again, they do seem to have a lot in common, like colors, and books, and hot cocoa. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander, picturing the two of them curled up by a fireplace, sipping hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and just holding each other close, her head leaned up against his shoulder, his arm wrapped around-

 

“Ha! I win!” Sara exclaimed, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Yes you did. Want to play another hand or feel like calling it a night?” he asked hoping she’d go for the first option, not wanting this moment to end.

“It’s getting pretty late, Rip will probably have another mission for us tom-” Sara started to reply before the ship shook.

“What the hell was that?” Sara asked as they both got up to check out the disturbance.

“Until next time, Assassin?” Leonard questioned while pocketing their cards.

“Let’s deal with the crisis first, then talk about me kicking your ass at another game of Gin.”

 

Leonard chuckled at Sara’s retort and following her to the Bridge, suddenly decided that he had a new favorite thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below! There is no such thing as a useless comment.


	3. Freezing in the Engine Room

They had been trapped in the engine room with no way out except the slim chance that Ray could get the door working. There was Sara Lance, his soulmate, sitting right beside him, shivering with her lips turning blue from the cold. He shrugged off his jacket and reached out to give it to her.

 

“No, you keep it. I don’t-” Sara said as she attempted to push the parka away.

“Sara, you’re smaller than I am which means you’ll freeze faster. You need it more than I do. Just take it,” Leonard insisted, earning a raised eyebrow from Sara at his stern tone.

“Please,” he said, softening both his tone as well as his expression.

“Fine,” she replied as she slipped into the coat that was far too big for her.

“It’s so warm. How do you stand wearing this when it’s not cold out?” she hummed.

“Simple I focus on how badass I look and let that overpower my heat exhaustion.”

“You think a parka makes you look badass?” she laughed.

“When it goes with my gun, yes. What? Every supervillain needs a costume. At least this doesn’t look silly like Flash’s fetish gear.”

“Oh no it definitely looks silly. By the way if the cops were never able to track you down to arrest you when you wear this all the time then the CCPD really needs to step up their game because I guarantee you my dad would’ve had you in handcuffs before you could say freeze.”

 

Leonard chuckled at that remark. He had no doubt that Sara’s father was a more competent officer than most of the cops on the Central City Police Department’s payroll but still, his gun did make him formidable enough to avoid arrest. Then again, they were talking about his soulmate’s father. The thought that a potential father-in-law would arrest him left a sharp pang in his heart.

 

Holy crap, did he actually refer to Quentin Lance as a potential _father-in-law_?! Was he really picturing himself marrying Sara? This whole soulmate nonsense was really messing with his head. It’d be insane to be imagining marriage this early on in their relationship. I mean they have only know each other for what? A handful of weeks? A month at the most? To be considering proposing to Sara so soon was downright mental.

 

“You think we’ll make it out of here alive?” Sara asked, breaking the silence Leonard hadn’t noticed forming between them.

“I hope so. What about you? Think Ray’ll get the door open in time?”

“I hope so. I really don’t want to die again.”

“I don’t want to die at all. I’ve got a few things on my bucket list that I haven’t gotten around to yet.”

“Like what?” Sara asked with a chuckle.

 

He turns to meet her eyes with his and she’s looking at him with such an expectant expression that he knows she’s waiting on his answer. Well… he gives it to her.

 

He crashes his lips to hers, framing her face with both hands. Her hands find their way into his shirt and for a moment he wonders if it’s to feel his skin beneath her fingertips or if she’s just trying to warm her hands on the little bit of body heat he could provide. Either way they break apart after only a moment and he swears he hears her gasp as they do.

 

“Sorry. Just figured that if we do die in here I might as well cross that one off the list. Always wanted to kiss you,” he said turning back away from her to stare off at the far wall.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you too,” she replied and the honesty in her words surprised him.

 

Not a single mark made its way onto his skin. She actually wanted to kiss him. He considered asking her how long she wanted to kiss him but then a shiver of hers broke the tension.

 

“I suppose this feels like a day at the beach for you,” she remarked.

“If I had to pick a way to die, freezing wouldn’t be the worst,” he replied as he rubbed his hands together.

“What’s it like… dying?” he asked after a moment.

“You know it’s funny. You’d expect it to be terrifying, just panic and fear.”

“What’d you feel?”

“I guess lonely. Yeah. Like everybody I loved was a million miles away. I mean I don’t like you but at least I’m not dying alone,” she replied and as she said that last sentence he could feel her words creep up on the skin of his right shoulder blade.

 

 _I don’t like you_. Those words were a lie. She did like him, maybe not as much as he liked her, but it was a start. He would’ve smirked and called her out on the lie but instead he chose to tell her a story himself.

 

“The closest I ever came to dying was, uh… the day I met Mick.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“It wasn’t like that. It was my first day in juvie. I was 14 and the smallest kid in there by far. Some of the older kids wanted to make sure I knew it. So they jumped me. I fought back, but one of them had a shiv and I figured that was it until Mick stepped in. And they didn’t mess with me after that. He’s been standing up for me ever since.”

“Let’s just hope he’s standing up for Rip and Jax now.”

“Who else is going to take on those pirates?”

 

The room started to feel colder but just as he was about to let out a shiver Sara grabbed his arm and started to press herself closer to him. He turned his head away from her trying not to let her hear him gasp at the contact. He might have just kissed her but cuddling together, if even for warmth, somehow seemed more intimate than that and he wasn’t used to it. He wasn’t used to comfort, or affection and he didn’t really know how to respond to it.

 

Hell, he wasn’t even sure how to feel about it. On the one hand his heart was racing and despite the cold his palms were sweating. On the other he was trying really hard not to hyperventilate. It was almost as if he were on the verge of a panic attack and dealing with nerves from some juvenile crush all at the same time. Then again, he never had many crushes growing up so for all he knew this was normal. Eventually, the doors opened, and they headed out. Sara attempted to return the parka.

 

“No. Keep it. You still need to warm up,” Leonard insisted.

“If you say so,” Sara replied, heading off to help the others with the pirates.

 

Leonard found himself smiling at the sight of Sara in his parka. There was something oddly pleasant about seeing her wrapped up in his clothes. Then came the image of Sara wearing one of his sweaters and nothing else. He quickly shook that thought from his head, choosing to focus on the mission inst- _WHAT THE HELL MICK?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


	4. Love you too, Snart

He had just abandoned Mick in the middle of nowhere and returning to the ship, he felt so hurt and alone like he had never felt before. Mick was his partner in crime, his best friend. If there was ever anyone he expected to have his back it was Mick. Now his partner had betrayed the team, tried to kill Sara, his soulmate of all people, and he had to dump him off in the woods. He didn’t know why he was doing this, didn’t know if it would do him any good, but he couldn’t help it. Tentatively, he knocked on the door to Sara’s room.

 

“Len? What do you want?” she asked groggily as she answered the door.

“I uh I just-” he replied before looking down at his feet.

“Len?”

“I just don’t want to be alone tonight,” he replied quietly.

“Come on in,” Sara said as she pulled him in and toward the bed.

 

They both slipped under the covers and Len nuzzled his head into the crook of Sara’s neck. She held him close, rubbing circles into his back before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. It was such a small gesture but to Len it felt like so much more.

 

“Good night, Len.”

“Good night.”

 

After a moment Sara started to drift back into slumber but Leonard was restless. Sara meant so much to him and had quickly become one of the most important people in his life. He knew how he felt about her and despite his reservations, he couldn’t stop himself from telling her.

 

“Sara?” he whispered.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

“Love you too, Snart,” Sara replied in her half-asleep state.

 

Leonard gasped at the words. Sara had said that she loved him back. The day might’ve started out terrible but those words, those four little words made up for all of it. Those words brought him a joy he had never known in his life. As he cuddled up closer to Sara, finally letting himself relax enough to sleep he absentmindedly thought with a smile, _so this is what it feels like to be loved_.

 

The next morning rolled around and Leonard looked upon Sara’s sleeping face with a smile. There beside him laid his soulmate, the love of his life, and the one person who had ever said they loved him and just yesterday he had kissed her, and she had said that she wanted to kiss him in return. This looked like the beginning of an amazing, loving relationship the likes of which he had never had before.

 

He wondered what she might’ve been dreaming about as he noticed the small smile on her lips. God, she looked so beautiful in the morning. His long fingers brushed delicately through her golden locks, pushing them aside to better see her contented face. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, careful not to wake her as he got up. He wanted to make her breakfast in bed, but first he really needed a shower.

 

Smiling and whistling, he headed to the bathroom and locked the door before stripping naked to step under the hot water. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. The thought of him and Sara together pushed all the negative thoughts he had about the previous day with Mick to the back of his mind. As he scrubbed himself clean he glanced down to just below his navel and saw four little words that now marked the skin. He hadn’t noticed the tingling sensation when they made their place there, far too focused on the joy hearing the words had brought him.

 

_Love you too, Snart_

 

He gasped at the pain the sudden realization had caused him. This whole time he had been thinking that he and Sara were growing closer, that they might have just taken the first step into beginning a relationship. To see those words on his skin, to know they were a lie broke his heart. He had wanted so damn much for them to be true. He had hoped that Sara truly loved him back. After all, if his soulmate couldn’t love him, then who the hell could?

 

He leaned back against the wall of the shower, sliding down onto the floor as a sob escaped his throat. He hadn’t cried in a long time, not since his father beat the habit out of him. _Boys don’t cry. Men don’t cry. If you cry you’re a weak piece of shit._ Those were the lessons his father taught him. Those lessons had been ingrained in his very nature for so long that never once in almost thirty years did he cry.

 

But now he couldn’t stop the tears from falling, couldn’t stop the stabbing pain in his heart. Why did Sara have to say those words? Why did she have to lie to him about that? Did she think he didn’t mean it in the serious sense? Did she pity him and his feelings so much that she felt the need to lie to try and make him feel better? Why? Why did she have to say those words? Why couldn’t she have not said anything and left him with his hope and his heart unshattered?

 

That previous night he had never felt so content, so happy in all his life. Now he had never felt so broken and unloved. Those words would mark his skin until the end of his days, reminding him for as long as he lived that Sara didn’t love him, his _soulmate_ didn’t love him. What was wrong with him? Why could no one love him? Was he really so pathetic, so worthless that no one, not even his own soulmate could love him? What was so bad about him that no one could bring themselves to love him?

 

All he ever wanted in life was love. He wanted someone, anyone to love him for who he was. In the past when he thought he had no soulmate he felt as though that dream for a love-filled life was a hopeless one. The day he met Sara, the moment her words first marked his skin, gave him a hope he had long since lost. He hoped for love. That was all he wanted out of life. Was that too much to ask for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


	5. Drunken Confessions

_Well this day could’ve gone better_ , Leonard thought to himself as he slumped down into the couch of the house Kendra and Ray had been using for the covers just the other day. Thing started off simple, just a typical mission where anything that can go wrong will and where Jax turned into some sort of bird monster. Typical. But on the walk back to the ship Jax had told him that whatever had had him upset with Sara was worth talking about with her.

 

So, he headed back to that hospital Sara had been posing as a nurse at to finally talk to her about the fact that they were soulmates and see if there was any part of her that could accept him. That was when he walked in on Sara kissing that nurse Lindsey. He quickly got out of the room and leaned against the wall, trying to control his breathing and fight back tears at the sight. He knew it was crazy to be jealous. After all, he and Sara weren’t together, so why the hell should it feel like she was cheating on him? It was a crazy thought but one he couldn’t help.

 

“Hey Len. Ready to go?” Sara asked after she came out.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s just get back to the ship soon. I could use a drink and the fifties swill isn’t going to cut it,” Leonard replied as he composed himself and adopted his typical cold attitude.

“You know I don’t know what I did that has you so upset. I mean I let you spend the night in my bed when you came back from what happened with Mick. Didn’t think that would make you so mad at me,” Sara remarked as they headed out of the hospital.

“That’s not why I’m mad.”

“Oh, then why? Come on Snart, tell me.”

“Why should I? Not like you’d care.”

“Of course I care Leonard, we’re friends.”

“Yeah well whatever.”

 

They had driven in silence back to the ship after that only to find themselves being left behind as the Waverider took off. Why the team would abandon them like that they had no idea. All they knew was that now they were stuck in 1958 with no way back to their time. He’d never see Lisa again, Sara would never see her parents or her sister. All they had was each other, for all that was worth. Despite being soulmates they weren’t exactly close. Sure he loved Sara, probably more than he should this early on but he did and although Sara had honestly said once that she wanted to kiss him she didn’t return his feelings. Why was having a soulmate such torture?

 

“So, what do you want to do? Play cards? Talk? Drink?” Sara asked as she entered the living room with a large bottle of scotch.

“Drink,” he replied, taking the bottle from her hand and taking a big gulp of booze.

“You ever going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Sara asked, taking a seat on the couch as Leonard continued to drink the bottle of scotch.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to tell you any time soon but… who know maybe I will spill my guts one of these days… or the mission will end, and we’ll go our separate ways, never to see each other again before that happens,” Leonard shrugged before taking another gulp of scotch.

“You really don’t think we’ll stay in touch once this is all over?” Sara asked with a look of sadness in her eyes, Leonard almost a third of the way through the bottle.

“Honestly, if Rip doesn’t come back for us I’m not even sure we’ll stay in touch for much longer. I mean you’ll probably get sick of these backwards fifties suburbs pretty quickly and take off for that League of Assassins or whatever and me well, I don’t know what I’ll do. I just know that for as much as I would like it if we stayed in each other’s lives you don’t feel the same,” Leonard replied as he downed more of the alcohol.

“You think I wouldn’t want to see you again?”

“Why would you want to see me again? I mean… I’m just some old thief. I’m a bad, crummy person who’s not worth anything to anyone. You… you’re good, you’re a good person… a better person than you’d believe. You protect people… you save them… you’re a total badass. You… you’re just so amazing… and good… and here I am, some lousy bastard-” Leonard replied, obviously starting to get drunk.

“Hey! Don’t say that. You aren’t lousy, or crummy, or bad, or any of that crap you just said. You’re a good person Len. You look out for your friends, you’ve always protected your sister, you have a big heart, Len,” Sara said placing a hand over his heart.

“It hurts me to know you think less of yourself just because of some criminal record. That’s not what defines you. It’s not what makes you who you are.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Len muttered.

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. I don’t deserve a soulmate even half as good or as caring as you.”

“Soulmate?”

 

Leonard didn’t say a word just took another large gulp of booze. Sara pulled the bottle from his hand and set it aside.

 

“Len, what did you mean soulmate?”

“I mean that… you and I are soulmates. I know. I know because of the marks… on my skin.”

“What marks?”

“These ones,” Leonard replied as he pulled his shirt up and over his head.

 

Sara took in the words all over his body and saw the words she said about changing their fate marked over his heart along with several other lies on his arms, and over his ribs. She always thought that Leonard had lied to her but the fact that she had no words on her skin proved otherwise. He must’ve been trying to hide the fact they were soulmates from her because he was afraid of commitment or something.

 

“I didn’t realize I had lied to you so much,” Sara whispered as she ran a hand over his chest.

“I wish you didn’t. I wish you’d just be honest with me. Especially last night when I was in your room. I wish you’d have just said the truth or not said anything at all. Why’d you have to lie to me?” Len asked with tears in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

 

Leonard took the hand she had on his chest and moved it to the place below his belly button where her words, _Love you too, Snart_ , marked his skin.

 

“Why did you have to say that? Why did you have to lie to me? You could’ve just said nothing, pretended to sleep instead. You didn’t have to say that. You didn’t have to say it out of pity. Why? Why did you have to say that?” Len sobbed.

“Leonard… I am so sorry. I had no idea what I was even saying last night. It was so late, and I was so tired. I didn’t even remember saying that. Len I’m so sorry,” Sara said taking his face in her hands as she tried to fight back tears of her own, sorry for the pain she'd caused him.

“Leonard, please look at me,” she begged.

 

Leonard looked up at Sara through his eyelashes, eyes wet and red from his tears. He crashed his lips to hers and found her kissing him back. She tasted the scotch on his tongue and the salt of his tears on his lips. The kiss was as intoxicating as it was breathtaking. Their first kiss had been warm and sweet and in some ways, it couldn’t compare to this one. Their first kiss was a confession, just an admission of feelings. This one was something more, it was the spark needed to finally bring them together.

 

Sara felt his hands wrap around her waist and slowly move down to grab her ass. She let out a small yelp against his lips as he pulled her up into his arms. She had to wrap her arms around his neck in order to hold on and not slip as Len began to walk them up the stairs toward the bedroom. He gently laid her down onto the bed and slowly started unbuttoning her blouse, savoring the moment for as long as he could as Sara looked up at him with dark, lustful eyes and a hungry smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


	6. First Time

Leonard awoke the next morning with a bit of a headache and the first thing he registered was being in bed, naked, with Sara curled up into his side, her head rested on his chest. Question was… WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?! As Leonard came to he tried to scoot away from Sara in panic, not being able to remember how they wound up in bed together naked and then suddenly fell off the bed, landing on the floor with a hard thud.

 

“Ow,” he groaned, waking Sara.

“You okay?” Sara asked, leaning over the bed.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” Leonard replied, taken aback by the sight of Sara’s bare chest she made no effort to hide.

 

God she was beautiful. Focus Leonard!

 

“What- What happened last night?” Leonard asked as he got back up off the floor, causing Sara’s face to drop into a frown.

“You don’t remember?” she asked sadly.

“No. Did- did we um…”

“Have sex? Yeah, yeah we did.”

“Dammit,” Leonard muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to remember what happened between them.

 

His first time with Sara and he didn’t even remember it? Great… just great. Oh wait a minute.

 

“What’s so funny?” Sara asked in response to Leonard’s small chuckle.

“I’m just remembering the way you got me off with your tongue in round two. That was… damn that was hot,” he smirked.

“Oh sure, _that_ you remember,” Sara replied with an eyeroll.

“Not just that. I think I remember making you scream my name, making you come so hard, so tight… God you were amazing,” he smiled lazily at her as she smiled back at him.

“Well I’m glad you at least remember parts of it. You had me worried there for a minute. Would’ve been a tragedy if my soulmate didn’t remember our first time together.”

“Soulmate? I- Oh crap!” Leonard replied as he realized that he had been naked in front of Sara, that she had seen his soul marks, his scars, everything.

“You okay Len?”

“No. No I- Dammit this wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“How was it supposed to happen?”

“I don’t know. But not- not this. Not because I got drunk and vulnerable or whatever the hell happened last night,” Leonard said before letting out a sigh.

“I didn’t want you to see my marks.”

“The ones I left on you with my lies. I’m sorry, by the way. I had no idea I had hurt you so much just by talking to you. Think you can ever forgive me for the one below that cute little belly button of yours?”

“First of all, it’s a belly button, it’s hardly cute. Second of all, what’s there to forgive? So I know the truth. So I know you don’t love me. So what?”

“So, I know how much that hurt you. I know that it tore you up inside to see those words on your skin and I know that It’s going to take some time before I can ever make it up to you,” she said, stepping off the bed and into his space to wrap her arms around his neck.

“And I promise I will definitely be making it up to you big time,” she added with a kiss as he placed his hands on her bare hips.

 

As the kiss deepened Leonard pulled Sara closer to him, pressing her body firmly against his. He could feel himself getting harder and he was sure that Sara could feel it too, given the way she was smirking against his lips.

 

“So what do you say Len, care for round three?”

“Oh most definitely,” he smirked as he laid her gently onto the bed, drinking in the sight of her naked form to burn the image into his memory like he hadn’t before.

 

He climbed over on top of her and pressed a kiss to the base of her neck causing her to hum in anticipation of what was to come. She reached behind him to take hold of his ass and give it a little squeeze making him buck his hips forward at the touch. It wasn’t but a moment after that he sank into her slowly, dragging it out for as long as possible. The sound of her moan as he filled her was easily one of his new favorite sounds.

 

He moved his lips from her neck to kiss her mouth in a biting, possessive kiss as he started up thrusting inside of her. He could feel her nails clawing at his back, raking across skin. She pulled away from his mouth to gasp as she came closer and closer to the edge. As he rubbed circles into her thighs he felt her clench tight around him and dig her nails into his shoulders, moaning loudly as she came.

 

Oh how he loved to please her like this. This could easily become a favorite pastime of his. Making love to a woman was one thing. Making love to his soulmate, however, was something much, much greater and so much more satisfying. He could feel himself coming closer to his own climax just as he could feel Sara’s walls fluttering close to her second.

 

It took an immense amount of willpower to keep from coming before her, but he managed to hold out just long enough for her to reach her orgasm again and drag him over his own edge as well. They collapsed beside each other, sweat glistening off each other’s bodies as they held one another close for a moment, catching their breath.

 

“Good as the first time?” Leonard asked.

“Mm, definitely,” Sara purred, rubbing a hand across his chest and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“Good. As for me this was definitely the best I’ve ever had… well the best I remember having. Last night’s still a little fuzzy. Not sure how it compares,” Leonard smiled in response.

“Well let’s hope you remember soon. It’d be a shame if you couldn’t remember our first time together.”

“I’m sure it’ll come back to me… maybe after a few times just to remind me,” he smirked with that sexy drawl of his.

“Leonard!” Sara laughed, playfully smacking his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


	7. Let Me Help You

It had been a few weeks since they’d been left in the past and although the rest of the world made them cringe from the backwards way of thinking, being at home with just the two of them set their hearts aflutter with joy. Making breakfast the morning after a night of passion, the two of them moved like clockwork, Sara ducking under Leonard’s arms as he prepared omelets, so she could fetch more ingredients for the French toast. They were so in synch with each other they didn’t know how they had ever lived apart before.

 

“Mm, have a good day at work dear,” Leonard told Sara with a kiss as he dropped her off at the diner she had started working at.

“You too sweetie,” Sara replied with another kiss as Leonard headed off to work at the local bank.

 

He had only agreed on getting a real job instead of going back to crime because Sara had asked him not to risk getting himself arrested and taken from her. Granted, he didn’t think anyone here could catch him but the fact that Sara cared enough about him to actually be concerned with the idea of him being sent to prison gave him a warm fuzzy feeling deep in his chest. He had never had someone care so much for him before. All he wanted in life was to find someone to love him and for the first time ever he felt that he finally had… even if Sara had yet to say she loved him back. But he was a patient man. He could wait.

 

Then Sara called him from a payphone downtown.

 

“Sara, is everything okay?”

“No, Len, I- I need you to come get me right now. It’s- It’s really bad,” Sara choked out in a deeply panicked voice.

“What happened?”

“The bloodlust,” Sara sniffled, clearly sounding like she had been crying; okay this was bad.

“I’ll be right there. Just tell me where you are.”

“Corner of Fifth and Grandville. Please hurry.”

“Okay just hang on.”

 

When Leonard arrived he found Sara covered in blood, tears still streaming from her face.

 

“Get in,” he said as he opened the passenger side door for her.

 

She got in and buckled her seatbelt before Leonard took off down the road. They drove in silence before coming up to the little home they had made their own.

 

“Want to tell me what happened?” he asked her sympathetically, not a hint of judgment in his tone.

“I killed some people.”

“I see that. I meant what happened to cause the bloodlust?”

“It was stupid. This jackass just grabbed my ass and I hit him and I kept hitting him and then these two guys tried to stop me, so I started hitting them and I couldn’t stop hitting them. It was like the more I hit them, the more amped up the bloodlust got until finally all three of them were dead and I was just standing there, covered in their blood. I didn’t want to. Len, I swear to God I didn’t want to hurt them I just- I-”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Sara. You’re okay now. Just breathe. I promise it’ll be okay. We’ll go somewhere else, somewhere far so that the police can’t find us. And I promise you we will be okay,” Leonard replied as he pulled Sara into his arms and started rubbing her back to comfort her.

“And if the bloodlust acts up again? What do we do then?”

“We’ll figure something out. I promise. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

 

Truth be told Leonard didn’t have a clue how to help Sara. All he knew was that this bloodlust of hers was causing her trouble and she needed to be rid of it if she was ever going to find peace with herself. He set out quickly to find some way to help her. At first, he considered going to the League of Assassins but from Sara had told him about them there was no way that’d go well. Hell, he’d probably wind up being forced to join the League with no chance of leaving if he sought them out. Terrible idea.

 

He spent over a month trying to find something, anything to help her. Probably would’ve taken a lot less time if he had the internet but he’d make do with what he had available. But he did manage to find something. A fabled lotus with great spiritual healing powers, said to be able to cleanse the soul of darkness. That sounded like just the thing he needed to save Sara from herself. Now he just needed to go out and get it. But that would require a trip overseas and getting help from anyone who could help him navigate the vast forests of Japan. But most importantly, it would require Sara not talking him out of it for the sake of stupidity.

 

“What’s this?” Sara asked as Leonard held two plane tickets in front of her face.

“Tickets for a trip to Japan. I think it’d help with all the problems relating to the bloodlust.”

“I don’t think a simple vacation is what’s going to suddenly fix me.”

“Oh I don’t know, I think we could find something there to help.”

“Is this really about taking a trip or is this about going somewhere to find something that might not even exist?”

“Can’t it be both?”

“Len.”

“Look, Sara, it pains me to see you so worried about your bloodlust all the time. I just want to help you move past it. I’ve found tales of this lotus thing that’s said to cleanse a person’s soul. Now I don’t know about you but that sounds exactly like the thing you need. Please, Sara, you and I both know I’m just going to go out and get it for you, with or without you. So, you might as well just say yes and come with. You’d get both a cure for the bloodlust and a little trip to Japan where you can go sight-seeing and have fun. I know you’ve been to Japan before but this time it won’t be to kill some guy because a League of assholes told you to,” Leonard said as he began to rub Sara’s shoulders, pressing kisses down along her neck as he spoke.

“Fine, we’ll go. But if you get yourself killed I’m not attending your funeral.”

“Deal,” he said pulling away from Sara before she grabbed his wrist.

“I didn’t say stop. Keep going,” she smiled as he put his hands back on her shoulders to massage her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long. I promise to post again next week. Let me know what you thought down below!


	8. The Lotus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late posting. Last week was midterms so I didn't have a whole lot of time on my hands.
> 
> Also, who here remembers the Crescent Order, Katana was a part of back in Arrow season 3?

Leonard and Sara arrived in Japan early in the morning and got checked into a decent hotel before Leonard took his leave to go and find the lotus that could help Sara.

 

“Hurry back. I’ll miss you,” Sara said with a soft peck on the lips.

“I’ll miss you too but you enjoy yourself. Okay? Get a massage, try the local cuisine, something to make you relax and be happy.”

“And what if none of it makes me happy and I wind up killing someone instead while you’re gone?” she asked, dropping her head away from his eyes.

“Hey,” he said, lifting her chin, “I promise I’ll be right back. I love you,” he finished with a smile and a kiss.

“I know.”

 

With that, Leonard headed off to a monastery where it was said that there were people who could lead him to the lotus.

 

“Excuse me, any of you speak English?”

“Yes. How might we help you in the path to spiritual enlightenment?” one of the monks asked.

“Help me get my hands on a lotus blossom that can heal a person’s soul and we’ll be just fine.”

“Your soul does not appear to need cleansing.”

“It’s not for me. It’s for my soulmate. She’s gone through some things that have left her soul darkened by evil. She needs help and this lotus of yours seems to be the only thing that can do that for her.”

“I see. And what exactly has affected her so?”

“Coming back from the dead.”

 

The monk took a step back in horror, visibly frightened by what Leonard just said.

 

“Problem?”

“How exactly was she resurrected?”

“She was brought back using a magic pool of water called the-”

“The Lazarus Pit.”

“You’ve heard of it.”

“Yes and of those who control it. If your soulmate is a member of the League of Assassins then you must leave this place at once. We shall never help one of theirs.”

“Well she’s not one of theirs, at least not anymore. She left the League behind awhile ago and now she’s suffering and people are dying because she can’t control this bloodlust of hers. Now please, I’m begging you to help her. She’s all that I have left anymore after losing everything else in my life. She’s the one person in the world who’s ever made me feel… happy, and loved, and just… Please. Please help her and I swear you’ll never hear from us again.”

“I am sorry about your soulmate but I cannot allow even a former member of the League to get their hands on our lotus. Leave now or we shall force you out.”

“Fine,” Leonard said, gritting his teeth.

 

He then headed out of the monastery before sneaking back in an hour later. Leave it to a master thief to be able to sneak through a place as quiet and uniform as a monastery unseen and unheard. He made his way through the buildings before coming across a hidden garden wherein lied several yellow lotus blossoms that gleamed in the sunlight.

 

“Gotcha,” he whispered to himself as he double checked to see if anyone else was there before making his way in.

 

He snuck over and plucked one of the flowers before squeezing out the nectar into a small vial he had on hand. Hopefully this would be enough to cure Sara’s bloodlust.

 

“You there, stop!” the monk shouted as he came across Leonard in the monastery with a few other monks who, unfortunately for Leonard, were armed with bows and arrows, swords, and bo staffs.

 

As if Leonard was going to be bested by monks. Luckily he always has a plan and brought his Cold Gun with him in case of just such an occasion. When the monks started firing arrows at him he used his gun to freeze them in mid-air. He dodged each attack from the staffs and knocked the monks back with a swift blast from his gun before turning his attention to the one with a sword. That one managed to get a slice in Leonard’s arm which was definitely going to need stitches. Oh well, he’s had worse. Luckily after that he managed to get lucky and freeze the blade as well as its wielder’s hand before shattering both.

 

“Ooh. That’s gotta hurt.”

“We won’t let you leave with the lotus!” one of the monks shouted as he blocked Leonard’s path.

“Actually I think you will. Unless you want your precious flowers to all perish,” Leonard replied before turning his gun on the lotus blossoms.

“NO!” the monk screamed as he headed over to attend to the flowers.

 

As Leonard made his escape, the monks took inventory and found that none of the flowers had survived the encounter.

 

“What shall we do master?” one of the younger monks asked.

“We shall hide the last of the elixir we have on hand away with our most elite member. The Crescent Order shall not allow the League to destroy what is left of our sacred blossom.”

 

When Leonard returned to the hotel he found Sara performing yoga in their room. He wasn’t sure what to make of the pose she was in but damn did she look good stretched out like that. It especially accentuated her…

 

“Just because we’re soulmates doesn’t mean you get to stare at my ass whenever you want.”

“Sorry. But can you really blame me? I mean it is a fine ass,” he said, tilting his head to get a better look at Sara’s derriere.

“I guess not. So, did you get the lotus thing or whatever or did you just give up and come back so you can gawk at me?”

“I’m hurt. Now do you really think I would come back without getting what I came for?” he asked, presenting the vial to Sara.

“You got it?!” Sara squealed as she got up to grab the vial from his hand.

“Yes I did,” he smiled at her before she crashed her lips to his.

“You’re the best, Len,” she said before downing the lotus nectar.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel… light and… and at peace. I- I don’t know how to thank you for this Len.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s just something you do for the person you love.”

 

With that Sara pressed her lips to his in gratitude before pulling back to look him in the eye with an expression Leonard hadn’t seen from her before.

 

“I love you too, Len.”

 

Leonard’s eyes went wide as he searched his body for any tingling of words left on skin only to find nothing and instead when he lifted his shirt he found the words, _Love you too, Len_ , to be erased from where they once rested.

 

“It’s the truth. What you just said- You really love me?” he asked with eyes full of hope and joy.

“Yes, Len. I do love you,” Sara replied before being pulled into a searing hot kiss by Leonard who proceeded to throw her on the bed, quickly ridding them both of their clothes eager to show her just how much her words affected him and other parts of his anatomy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


	9. Wanna be a Dad

After a long, exhausting, and dreadfully boring day at work Leonard returned home…

 

Home. There was a word Leonard never thought he’d use. But now here he was stuck in the fifties with his soulmate and they had turned this little bungalow of theirs into a home while they waited on a time ship they were pretty sure at this point wasn’t coming back for them. Yet as homey as everything felt there was one thing Leonard hadn’t expected to be hearing in their house… at least not for a while.

 

“WAAAAH!!!” an infant’s scream cried out through the house.

 

Leonard headed upstairs to find out where the noise was coming from and came across Sara holding a baby in her arms, trying to quiet it by rocking the baby gently.

 

“Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay. It’s okay little guy. You’re okay,” Sara hushed before looking up at Leonard.

“Leonard, hi. How was work?”

“Terrible,” he replied as the baby continued to scream.

“May I?”

“Oh uh yeah. Sure,” she replied, handing over the baby to him.

 

Leonard took the baby into his arms and began to bounce the baby as he patted the baby’s back softly, humming all the while. Pretty soon the baby quieted down and nodded off.

 

“How’d you do that?”

“You forget. I practically raised my sister. Learned a few tricks.”

“Yeah well I babysat a bunch of kids for a whole summer and didn’t learn how to do that. You’ve gotta teach me.”

“Alright, but only if you answer a question for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Why do we have a baby?”

“It’s the neighbor’s. She couldn’t find a sitter, so she asked me to help out while she went grocery shopping. Kid’s name’s Maximus.”

“Maximus? Really? Poor kid,” Leonard snorted before looking down at the kid with a warm smile.

“You okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. I’ve just never seen you act so paternal before. You look good with a kid,” Sara answered, giving Leonard the warm fuzzies at the last sentence.

“I mean I’m sure that’s the last thing you’d want to hear. But it’s true you almost look like a real dad.”

“Wait you… You think I don’t want kids?” Leonard frowned.

“Well do you?”

“Yes,” he said firmly to Sara’s immense surprise.

“You… I just I didn’t think that’d be something you wanted.”

“Why? I mean do I not seem like father material? Have I ever said that I don’t like kids? Is it just that you figured with us being soulmates we’d want the same things and you don’t want kids? Is that it?” Leonard asked sounding more hurt by the second until the baby began fussing again.

 

Leonard began to bounce the baby again in his arm while softly shushing him.

 

“Here. You take him. I need some space,” Leonard said, passing maximus to Sara as he headed out.

 

Leonard went out into the garage to curl up in the backseat of their car. He hadn’t cried in years and now he couldn’t help the prickle he felt as his eyes began to become salted with his tears. When he found that he actually had a soulmate he thought that maybe this would be his chance to have everything he never let himself want in the past. He thought he could have love, marriage, kids…

 

Kids. That was the one thing Leonard had always wanted more than anything. The thought of fatherhood always left him feeling warm inside. After having taken care of Lisa over the years any fear he might’ve had that he’d turn out like his father melted away and instead the idea of being a father one day excited him, made him happy in a way he couldn’t fully describe. He loved the images that came to mind of feeding a little baby, helping a child take their first steps, teaching them to swim or ride a bike, taking them to school and making them lunch. Everything brought a smile to his face the more he thought about it and he’d been thinking of it more and more since he and Sara got together.

 

But of course he wouldn’t be that lucky. He wasn’t sure what hurt more, the thought that Sara didn’t want kids or the thought that she couldn’t picture him as a father. Nope, definitely the latter. To hear her say that she never thought he’d want to be a father cut him deeply. If even the love of his life couldn’t see him as being a dad, then what hope did he have of ever having a kid? Being a father was his lifelong dream and one he didn’t dare hope for, for years and now that he finally thought it could become a reality it was taken away from him. Why oh why did the universe hate him?

 

Then came a knock on the car door.

 

“Leonard? Len, can we talk?”

 

He wiped off his eyes and got out of the car.

 

“Where’s the kid?”

“He’s in his car seat inside. Um listen Len, about what I said inside-”

“No I get it. You don’t think I could be a father. Or maybe you just don’t want kids. Either way, I get it. I’m not happy about it but I get it.”

“No, Len. I do want kids and I do think you could make an amazing father. I just didn’t expect you to want that. I don’t know why, maybe I just figured the whole settling down and having a family thing wasn’t on your to do list or something. But either way I’m really sorry for hurting you earlier, and don’t you dare say that I didn’t because I can tell you’ve been crying.”

“I wasn’t going to lie to you, Sara. I’d never lie to you. But for the record, settling down? Having kids? Those are all things I’ve wanted for so long and the only reason I never had any of that up until now is because I didn’t think those were things I could ever have seeing as how I became a thief and a criminal. I’m a bad guy Sara. And bad guys don’t get happy endings. They don’t get to fall in love, get married, start a family. The day I realized you and I were soulmates was the day I figured the universe must’ve made a mistake. I mean how could someone like me deserve someone like you?”

 

Sara then pulled him in for a kiss and held him close for a few minutes until the need for air became a concern.

 

“You’re not a bad guy, Len. And you and I definitely deserve each other. Don’t ever doubt that again, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied with a weak smile, still unconvinced that he actually deserved someone like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


	10. No More Waiting

It had been about a half a year since they were stranded in the fifties and in that time Sara and Len had grown closer than ever. They laughed, they loved, they gave each other the strength to keep going even when they were both certain that they were never going to be rescued. They were everything to each other and yet, Leonard wanted more.

 

He wanted them to be more than just lovers or soulmates. He wanted to be Sara’s husband and her his bride. So after finding the perfect ring for her; and he did mean perfect, nothing less would do; he brought her down to her favorite restaurant in town. It wasn’t too fancy like the five star place uptown, neither was it cheap and plain like the burger joint they frequented, but if he chose a place out of the ordinary Sara would’ve been tipped off in no time. He wasn’t about to let the surprise be spoiled by common sense.

 

His hands were shaking, as they had been off and on the past few weeks. Nerves he thought, after all it’s not every day you pop the question to the love of your life. Sara was concerned though. She had even suggested the other day that he go see a doctor. But Leonard dismissed it as being nothing more than stress from his terrible job. Why oh why did he agree to that? Oh right, because he didn’t want to get caught and go to jail, leaving Sara all alone in this godforsaken time.

 

“You sure you’re okay, Len?” Sara asked as the waiter brought their desserts, noticing the tremor in his hand as he lifted his wine glass to his lips.

“Yes, I’m sure. Sara, stop worrying. I’m fine, really. It’s just nerves,” he replied with a smile as he took her hand in his.

“Right, right, just stress from work. I know you hate it. If it really bothers you so much you can just go back to doing what you do best. You know I’d never fault you for that.”

“I know. And I know you wouldn’t ask me to change but I want to change. I want to be a better man for you, a better lover, better friend… and maybe-” he said slowly slipping the ring box from his pocket.

 

Just as he moved from his chair to attempt getting down on one knee, his hands started to shake violently until the box fell from his fingers onto the ground as he dropped to the floor.

 

“LEONARD!” Sara screamed as she got down to do something, anything to help him.

 

Her soulmate was lying on the floor, seizing violently as the wait staff called for an ambulance. When the paramedics finally arrived and the seizing died down, Sara followed him out on the stretcher, clutching his hand in her own. She was about to board the ambulance alongside her love when their waiter came rushing out.

 

“Miss! Miss!” he shouted, causing her to turn her head.

“I believe this is yours… or well, his. I am so sorry this happened, ma’am,” he said, handing her the ring box before heading back inside the restaurant.

 

Sara looked down at the ring and was stunned. It had to be a full two carats of impeccable quality and color, princess cut, and set in the platinum band betwixt two smaller canary yellow diamonds. The band was engraved with the words, _The assassin to my crook_ , with a little bird engraved on one side of the words and a snowflake on the other. If she weren’t so scared for Leonard right now her tears would be ones of joy, but now all they were, were tears of pain and fear.

 

After about an hour, Leonard finally awoke in the hospital with Sara by his bedside.

 

“Sara? What- what happened?” he asked, clutching his forehead as he groaned.

“You had a seizure. The waiter had to call an ambulance.”

“This the part where you tell me you told me so and chew me out for not seeing a doctor like you said?”

“No,” she replied, pulling the ring from her pocket.

“This is the part where I say… yes.”

 

He turned his head quickly toward her to see her place the ring on her finger before taking his hand into her newly jeweled one.

 

“Yes? You- you’re saying yes?” he asked as his face broke out into a smile.

“Yes,” she replied with a nod and a smile more sorrowful than Leonard’s as she was still nervous for what the doctor might tell them.

 

Leonard bent over the side of the bed to pull Sara into a kiss, reveling in the fact that she had agreed to marry him. Even though he was in a hospital and his plans had gone straight to hell, this was still the best night of his life and the start of something even better.

 

Then the doctor entered the room, his face sullen and sympathetic.

 

“Mr. Snart, we’ve been over the results of your tests and there’s no easy way to say this. Quite frankly I wish I had better news.”

“Out with it, doc. Is he going to be okay or not?”

“I’m so sorry to have to tell you both this but… Mr. Snart, we found an oligoastrocytoma between your temporal and frontal lobes. That is to say a rather rare but fairly aggressive type of tumor in your brain.”

 

Sara grasped Leonard’s hand stronger at that. Leonard’s face fell flat, dumbfounded by the news.

 

“What?” he asked the doctor in quiet shock.

“Well how long does he have?”

“Presumably between two to four years, with treatment that can be extended but with this type of tumor I would highly recommend we act as soon as possible.”

“Hold on, treatment? What- what kind of treatment?” Leonard asked.

“Surgery to remove the tumor, then radiation and chemotherapy.”

“We’ll do whatever it takes. We-”

“Can you give us a moment?” Leonard asked of the doctor, excusing him from the room.

“Len, what is it?”

“I don’t want to do this.”

“You- what? What do you mean you don’t want to do this? Do what?”

“Treatment. I’ve heard of what things like radiation and chemo can do to a person. Sara, I told you once that I wanted to have kids but… but if I go through with this then any chance of that goes out the window,” Leonard said, tears welling up in his eyes.

“You don’t know that,” Sara replied, shaking her head.

“You don’t know either. If we do this then I might not get to have kids, _we_ might never get to be parents, Sara, and I don’t know that I can accept that. I- I just can’t,” Leonard said, turning his head away from his fiancée.

 

There was a pause before Sara spoke again.

 

“What if we don’t wait?”

“Didn’t you hear me? I said-”

“Not about the treatment. What if we don’t wait to have kids? What if we start trying, right now and then once I’m pregnant we start you up on the treatment? That way we can have a kid and you can live long enough to watch them grow up.”

“You mean it?” he asked, eyes wide and breath halted.

“Yes,” Sara smiled with a gentle nod, “Let’s make a baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long. I had a lot of schoolwork to do lately. Let me know what you thought down below!


	11. A Broken Mind and a Broken Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING FOR SO LONG!!! College got really busy and then it had been so long since I wrote anything that I needed to take some time for my inspiration to come back, so my apologies for the really late update. Hope you enjoy... or at least don't get your heart torn in half. ;-)

It had been too many weeks since the diagnosis, since they started trying to make a baby, and still nothing to show for it. Sara wasn’t pregnant yet and she was getting more and more worried about Leonard’s condition. He had had a handful of other seizures since being diagnosed with brain cancer and despite his reassuring words and the fact none of them ever appeared on her skin, it didn’t do anything to assuage her fears.

 

“Leonard?”

“Yes?” Leonard drawled with a smirk as he pressed a trail of kisses down Sara’s neck and body all the way down to…

“OH… fuck! Leonard do you think that… do you think that maybe you should start those treatments soon?” Sara asked breathlessly as Leonard tongued at her opening.

 

Leonard wanted to ensure they’d have kids by fucking as often as possible. But just because he needed to get off for that to happen didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do everything in his power to please his wife too… especially after that sorry excuse for a wedding Sara talked him into. She wanted them to be married as soon as possible so they did some lame courthouse wedding when he would’ve preferred to give her the wedding of her dreams. At least she conceded to letting him take her name instead of the other way around.

 

“Mm, why would I think that? You’re not even pregnant yet,” Leonard asked as he crawled up Sara’s length to join their lips together, the taste of her making its way to her own tongue.

“Yeah, I know but I’m just… UGH! … Just getting a little worried. The seizures have been… getting more frequent lately. OH!”

“Just relax… Soon you’ll be pregnant… and we’ll be parents… and we’ll have a nice… little… happy… family… Oh FUCK!” Leonard grunted as he thrusted deeper and deeper inside of her.

“Don’t you still want that?”

“I do. I just think that… maybe we should… worry about the more… pressing issue at hand… you know, like the tumor in your… your brain.”

 

Leonard was about to respond to that but the feeling of Sara’s walls clenching around him made it hard to think about anything else at the moment. She came with a scream, arching her back as she hit her climax hard. As Leonard’s seed spilled out inside of her she hoped, desperately hoped, that this would be it, that this would be the time she got pregnant so that Leonard wouldn’t put off the cancer treatments any further.

 

They collapsed side by side together in bed, panting as they came down from their orgasms. They curled into each other’s sides. Leonard grasped Sara’s hand and stroked her knuckles with his thumb.

 

“I told you, Sara, I’m not ready to give up on this yet. And I have faith that this will work out for us. You’ll see.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because before I met you I never so much as dreamed of finding my soulmate, never thought that I even had one. But now I know that no matter what terrible thing happened in my past, that there can always be something to hope for,” he pressed a kiss to her hand, “I have hope now, Sara, and if there’s one thing that I can hope will happen for us, it’s that you and I _will_ make a baby together. We _will_ be parents, and we’ll raise our child right and they’ll grow up happy, and safe, and loved more than any other. I love you, Sara, and I promise you that things will work out for us.”

“I hope you’re right about this,” Sara replied before pressing a kiss to her loving husband’s lips.

 

Sleep soon overcame them and they laid there in peaceful tranquility… until…

 

“Leonard?” Sara asked in confusion as movement stirred her to wake early the next morning.

Then there was a loud thud hitting the floor.

 

“LEONARD!” Sara screamed, springing upright to find that Leonard was having another seizure and had collapsed onto the floor, shaking violently in his sleep, a huge gash in his head from hitting the nightstand in the fall.

 

Sara quickly called for an ambulance and they were rushed to the hospital. The news wasn’t good. Leonard’s tumor had grown faster than anticipated and needed to be removed immediately or else his chances of survival were only at 48 percent. 48 percent might be enough for some people but even a fifty-fifty chance was too low for Sara’s comfort so this was beyond terrible.

 

“Mrs. Lance, we really do have to act quickly. What’s it going to be?” the doctor asked in reference to her decision of whether or not they could proceed with the surgery and begin treatment for Leonard’s condition.

 

She only prayed that Leonard could forgive her for this.

 

“Do it,” she replied in a hushed tone as tears streamed down her face.

 

The doctors moved fast to prep Leonard for immediate brain surgery. Sara sat in the waiting room until they were done, her face in her hands the whole time as she feared losing the one person in the backwards 50s she had, her best friend, her love, her husband, her soulmate. She couldn’t lose him. She couldn’t.

 

“Ma’am?” the doctor said as he approached hours later.

“Is he alright?”

“He’s fine. We were able to remove the tumor and gave him a dose of radiation to kill whatever microscopic cancer cells we may have missed. Of course, he’ll still need to come in for continuous treatments for the next few months or perhaps even years.”

“But he’ll live? He’s going to be okay now, right?”

“With luck yes. Would you like to see him? He’s probably still asleep right now but…”

“Please.”

 

Sara followed the doctor off to Leonard’s room and patiently waited for him to wake up and come out of the wooziness of the anesthetic.

 

“Sara?”

“Hi Leonard,” Sara replied with a smile, a single tear dripping from her face as she tried to prepare herself to deliver the bad news to him.

“Hey,” he said wiping away the tear, “What’s wrong?”

“Leonard, you had a seizure this morning, a really bad one. The doctors said your tumor got too big. They said there was a pretty strong chance that you could die if they didn’t remove it quickly,” Sara said, trying, and failing, not to cry.

“Well clearly they were wrong because I’m still alive.”

 

Sara looked down at her feet, dreading having to break his heart.

 

“Leonard the reason you’re alive is because… because I told them to go ahead with the procedure. I told them to do whatever it takes to save you. You got out of surgery about an hour ago.”

“Surgery? Is… is that all they did?”

“No, Leonard, it isn’t. They also gave you a dose of radiation-”

“No… no, no. That’s not true. It’s not true. Tell me it isn’t- God!” Leonard responded as he broke down in tears.

“I’m sorry, Leonard. I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t- I couldn’t lose you.”

“You took this from me? I thought you wanted kids?”

“I do.”

“No you don’t. You can’t possibly mean that or you wouldn’t have done this!” he screamed.

“Just get out. Get out of my face.”

“Leonard-”

“Don’t! You think that you can make everything okay with a little apology? Nothing is ever going to be okay again. Don’t you get that? You think that me being alive is all that matters… But the truth is I’d have rather died… I’d have rather died than to live not being able to have kids. I’d have rather DIED!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below. Again, sorry for this taking so long.


	12. Longing for What's Lost

Leonard had been quiet since the treatments started. He’d just sit and stare out the window for hours on end, never talking, never responding. He slept most of the day and when he was awake he barely ate anything. Sara had never seen him or anyone else for that matter so completely and utterly depressed. And she did this to him.

 

“Leonard, I was thinking we could go out for dinner. That diner you like so much? What do you say?”

 

Silence.

 

“Come on, you know you like their burgers. Please?”

 

Silence.

 

“Leonard, I know it hurts but you can’t just sit around and mope forever. You need to get your mind off this. Please, Leonard. I hate seeing you like this.”

“Then you shouldn’t have made me like this,” he finally responded.

 

Sara couldn’t help but wonder if he really did blame her for everything or not. The way he worded the statement it was difficult to define as factual so there wouldn’t be any way of knowing if there was truth to it or not. But then again who’s to say he didn’t mean it? She was the one who approved the treatment. If anyone was to blame it would be her. Maybe he did really hate her for it. She was too afraid to ask straightforward if this was the case or not.

 

Truth was Leonard hadn’t meant to say something so hurtful to her. But he was hurting too. Hurting over the loss of any chance he might’ve had to be a father, hurting over Sara’s disregard for his feelings, hurting over how much he wanted something that he could never have.

 

When you grow up lacking something as essential as love you tend to crave it more than anything and when you finally get a little you just want more and more of it. He had never felt loved in his childhood, never had a loving, happy family. He wanted that. He wanted it more than anything else in the entire world.

 

He wanted his soulmate to love him and to care about his feelings. He wanted kids he could shower with affection and who would look to him with a smile and say _I love you, daddy_. He wanted kids who could look to him to make them feel safe during thunderstorms, who’d want to cuddle with him if they ever had bad dreams. He wanted kids who looked to him as a role model of how to be a parent. He wanted kids who would run up to him whenever he came home and hug him with all their might.

 

He wanted all of that. He wanted a nice, big, warm, loving, and happy family. Now he would never have that. He would never have kids. He would never have a large family that loved him dearly. He might’ve been able to accept something like this if he were back home in the 21st century with his sister. But here? In 1958 with nothing and no one in his whole world besides Sara?

 

Don’t get him wrong. He loved Sara more than anything, even if she did break his heart this way. But he wanted more love than she could possibly offer. He wanted a family, a real, complete family. He needed that. He needed the love of a bunch of little ones running around their home to fill that void his bastard father left in the deepest recesses of his soul.

 

He’d just have to settle for this; looking out the window, watching the neighbor play with his own kids, tossing the ball around the yard, running through the sprinklers. He couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what it would’ve been like to be a father. What he wouldn’t give to find out for himself. He’d even sell his soul to the devil himself if it would give him a second chance.

 

Oh who is he kidding? His soul’s been damned to hell long ago. Not even this little redemption arc of his the Flash inspired with him joining the Legends could ever rectify that. And honestly, who would make a deal for something they already owned?

 

Eventually Leonard stumbled off to bed that night, skipping dinner entirely despite Sara’s insistence against it. He could hear her sigh as he slipped under the covers and as he dozed off he could swear he heard her on the phone with someone. He couldn’t make out what she was saying as sleep overtook him. And quite frankly… he didn’t really care.

 

The next morning he awoke to Sara jostling him in his sleep and the smell of freshly made waffles and bacon.

 

“Get up, Leonard! Get up! I have something to tell you!” Sara shouted eagerly.

 

At least someone was in a good mood.

 

“What? What is it?” he muttered as he tried to force his eyes open.

“I called an agency last night. I figured they could help us with our problem… if you’re interested that is.”

“What problem?”

 

Sara then held a business card in his face. One that read _Mrs. Hollander’s Orphanage & Adoption Agency_. He furrowed his brow as he took the card and sat up.

  
“Adoption? Sara, felons can’t adopt.”

“Yes, but here in 1958 with no criminal charges against you, you’re not a felon which means…”

“We could have kids,” he said in almost a whisper as he registered what she was saying.

 

She was right. He didn’t have a record here, which meant there was absolutely nothing standing in his way of adopting a kid in need of a good home. There was nothing stopping him from being a father, nothing standing in the way of his dreams of having a family. He could have it. He could finally have a true family.

 

“Let’s do it,” he said with a bright smile.

“Now there’s that smile I’ve been missing,” Sara smiled back as she stroked Leonard’s unshaven face.

 

He tackled her to the bed, pressing a kiss to her lips before trailing all the way down to the base of her neck.

 

“I love you,” he murmured against her soft skin, “I love you so, so, so, so much.”

“I love you too, Len,” Sara moaned as his knee pressed between her legs.

 

They might not have begun the adoption process just yet, but damn them if they weren’t going to get a head start on celebrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought down below!


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